What a pleasure writing the review of Massive Gelatinous! What are the two cubic things that immediately come to every RPG player’s mind? Obviously I’m referring to the d6s and gelatinous cubes, great chunks of slime.
I’ve always liked them, partly because they are an improved, even if vaguely deadly, version of robot vacuum cleaners. A little ‘because from the point of view of the reward they are like the showcase of a shop, so you can understand first what can be achieved by fighting them.
But above all because a long time ago, after having granted to a PC a brand new mercurial broadsword (we are talking about D&D3.0) only because the player had stressed me to the unbearable, I had the great satisfaction of seeing him melt the sword inside a gelatinous cube at the first attack of the first fight. What do you say? The acid of the Gelatinous Cube doesn’t dissolve neither stone nor metal? Too bad, my friend didn’t know. Probably neither do I. In my defense I gave the sword a saving throw and he rolled a 1. We were young and inexperienced. Forgive me Teo.
But We Are Here for the Review of the Massive Gelatinous
You are also right. You’re not here to hear me talk about teenage games in the 90s. But don’t tell me you’re here for the Massive Gelatinous review. Do I really have to explain to you if a giant d6 that resembles a Gelatinous Cube is beautiful? Are we joking? But have you seen the photos? It is a nice big die with a 51 mm side, heavy, with rounded edges. And it’s decorated to look like a Gelatinous Cube. What do you need to know more? In case you fail the Perception check, the number of skulls determines the result of each face.
Given its size if you want to be able to use it you’ll need a landing strip more than a simple flat surface and certainly a material that muffles the sounds otherwise you will wake up not only the neighbors, but also their murderous fury, if they survive the fright of the rumble of the impact.
Seriously, the die is the standard size of the large d6 size, it is heavy and you must pay attention if you want to use it. Although in my humble opinion its best use is on a very visible shelf to make your friends envy and to look at it every time you pass by. I challenge you to do this and not to admit to yourself that it was money well spent. You can also use it as a miniature of a Gelatinous Cube and it’s nothing short of perfect.
For those who want a more easily rollable Gelatinous Cube, there is the standard size version.
Gelatinous Cube? Gelatinous Cute!
I conclude this review first of all by sincerely thanking Severed Books for sending us a Massive Gelatinous and above all for making me a happy compulsive hoarder. You can find Massive Gelatinous on Amazon or Etsy, other than my shelf. It costs about $18 (15€) plus shipping costs. I truly suggest you to take a look at Severed Books site, full of interesting stuff. Among which you will find the pre-orders for Massive Gelatinous 2, with the two options Blood Swirl (transparent with blood-colored objects) but above all the version that lights up in the dark. I want to hav… I want to review that too!
In a last moment of seriousness I can tell you that it is a product that wisely tickles the palate of role players. The standard version can be used easily, the large one less. There is no doubt, however, that on a visual level the large die is really beautiful to observe and display. Also, the ability to use it as a game miniature is anything but a joke. Like everything beautiful, particular and not produced near your home, the shipping costs must be evaluated, but you can only think about it after passing a Wisdom saving throw, otherwise you will not be able to resist and… you will melt in front of its beauty!